I woke up bitter this morning. I do that every now and then. Usually it happens on Sundays, but it's Saturday today, so maybe my bitterness will start to extend and eventually take up my whole life.

I was 17 when I joined the LDS church in 1980. Yes, I know, I'm giving away my age. I can see you all counting on your fingers.

At that time in the church there was a strong emphasis on marrying young and having lots of children right away. I remember being told money should never be a reason not to have children, that the Lord would provide. Although we were told to get an education, it was with the understanding that it was just something to do until you got married. Being a full-time Mom was the only thing we should really aspire to. We felt sorry for the poor girl who got to 21 and wasn't married so she ended up going on a mission, and horror of horrors if you got to 25 and still wasn't married.

I know, it sounds like something out of the time of hoop skirts and bustles, but it wasn't. While the rest of the world was encouraging women to get degrees and be independent, we were obsessing over when we would get a man before we got out of teenhood.

At least that's the message I got.

Part of me fought against that message. I told people I wanted to go to BYU because I heard they had a good drama program and I was laughed at and told that I just wanted to get my MRS degree. In the end, the things I was taught won out and I got married at 20, had my first baby at 21, my second at 22 and by the time I was 30 I was pregnant with number 5.

Now, let me make this clear. I do not regret having any of my children. I was told by the Lord to have them and they were intended for me and I love them all dearly. Having said that, there are things I wish I had done differently because the reality of life has not only hit me in the face, but has smacked me down, beaten me up, and continues to knock me down every time I attempt to rise.

Reality Number 1 - Few of us choose to marry someone who will completely let us down, but it can still happen to the best and wisest of us. I've seen bishops suddenly up and leave their wives and the church. Seemingly devout men will have affairs, the straight guy will decide he's gay, and the upstanding priesthood holder can turn out to be an abusive jerk. Divorce happens.

Reality Number 2 - Even strong marriages can experience bad times. Unemployment, sickness, accidents, bad economies and death can lead to the necessity of a SAHM having to find a job.

Reality Number 3 - No one is going to give you a job because you made cupcakes for the school bake sales, taught Sunday School, and fought for modest cheerleading outfits. Twenty years changing diapers, driving kids to soccer practice and making nutritious meals, although all important, isn't going to get you anything that can support your family. Employers don't care if you're smart, funny and talented. What employers do care about is when your last job was, where it was, how long you held onto it, what you did in that job, why you are no longer at that job and the time frame between jobs.

Reality Number 4 - You may very well get divorced from someone who will not only not pay spousal support, but might do everything he can to avoid child support as well.

Reality Number 5 - Businesses don't hire 50 year olds fresh out of college. Why should they when they've got 20 and 30 year olds to choose from, people who will be around for a while and won't have health problems. They look at a 50 year old as a heart attack ready to happen.

Reality Number 6 - Although you'll hear from church members that we should take care of the fatherless and widowed, you will still hear talks in church on being self-sufficient and society will look down on you for getting help from the government, causing you to feel like a parasite on the butt of life.

Reality Number 7 - Most minimum wage jobs suck and have no future.Who wants to spend the rest of your working life in a job that you hate? 8-9 hours a day of misery only to come home to screaming children which you have no energy for because that stupid dead end job took every ounce of your reserves.

Reality Number 8 - Even if you have a degree, that degree means very little if you've been twenty years out of the work force.

Reality Number 9 - Your mother may have told you that looks don't matter. They do. And the lower down your job, the more important they are. Don't believe me? Take a look around at your servers the next time you're in a restaraunt.

I've been in the Young Women's program recently for a couple of years. You would think that with the way things are, there would have been some changes. Now there are a few more lessons on getting an education, but the main purpose of the YW program is to get those girls married in the temple. I have nothing against this, but I think we're cheating our YW by not telling them more, by not advocating education and career more than we are.

My daughter who is enjoying her career in restaurant management told me something disturbing. She said that LDS men aren't interested in girls with careers. They want girls with jobs that they can happily drop and leave. They would rather date a waitress than a restaurant manager. They would rather go out with a grocery clerk than a lawyer. They want girls with no professional aspirations. What are we teaching our sons? To want girls who won't be the best they can be? Girls who can't challenge them or earn more money than them?

I remember talking to a man about Shari Dew. He said "What man could approach Shari Dew romantically. She's too high up." (or something along those lines. The point being that Shari Dew is too successful for an LDS man to be comfortable with). I was so flabbergasted (isn't that a great word) I didn't know how to respond to that.

So what messages are our YW and single sisters getting? That if we desire a temple marriage (a good thing), then we better do it young (because there's that whole sexual desire thing and keeping clean) and single men don't want women who are equal to them professionally. It hurts their male ego.

It's no wonder that I still see 19 year olds quitting university, getting married and having kids right away.

So based on those realities that I discovered the hard way, here's my advice to single sisters of all faiths (and non-faiths).

1. Get a degree. Get 2 degrees. Finish going to school. Get a career that you love. And don't stop your education. Keep going to school even when you've got 5 kids under the age of 5 clinging to your legs and spitting up on your shirt. Even if it's only one class a semester.

2. Keep your fingers in your chosen profession. A part time position or working from home isn't going to hurt your kids. Remember reality number 8? You actually need work experience on a resume.

3. Don't get married until you've got a degree. I know, I can feel the prophets smashing my head over this, but here's another part of the reality. Once you're married the kids come. You can do what you want about not having them, but they'll come anyway. And guess who's education gets sidelined once you've got kids. Yep, it's yours. Because it becomes even more important that he finish his degree to support the family. And you can tell yourself that you can go back, but it becomes just that much harder because not only do you have to worry about supporting yourself and taking care of yourself, there's a lot of other people counting on you. You're better off earning your degree when you don't have any other responsibilities other than you.

3. Serve a church or Peace Corp mission. It can only make you grow and give you valuable experiences. Yes, I know for an LDS church mission you have to be (gasp) 21, but you'll have finished your bachelors by then. Other churches have their mission requirements and the Peace Corp has theirs. How better can you learn selfless service which prepares you for marriage and motherhood?

4. Travel. Not just to the next state or province to visit grandma but to the other side of the world. Go to different countries. Try new foods. Learn the history and the culture. I have never ever heard anyone say "I wish I had never travelled."

5. Work in your career of choice. Yes, eventually you may very well decide to be a SAHM, but have some full time experience in the work force in your chosen career first. And like I said before, don't completely let that go.

6. Live on your own before you get married. This does not include living with relatives. You need to be on your own, with or without roommates. You need to know how to pay the rent and utilities, buy food, and what it's like to be alone at night watching garbage on TV while eating ice cream. You have to know how to handle the landlord, do your own laundry, and how to maintain your car. You need to know this stuff before you bring other people into the world.

7. Date a lot. Get your heart broken. Don't settle for the first guy who comes along unless God appears and tells you this is the one. Keep yourself chaste so you don't make stupid decisions because you slept with him. Have fun.

8. Build a circle of good girl friends. They will help you through the tough times.

9. Don't get married just because you're almost 25, or 30, or whatever age you think is too late. You'll only find yourself divorced.

10. Don't limit what you're capable of because you're worried that it would intimidate a guy. You don't want a guy easily intimidated anyway. What kind of husband and father would that kind of guy make? You want a man that's secure in himself because then he doesn't have to put you down. He'll want you to be smart and successful and every wonderful thing that you are.

11. Get fit and stay fit. Make this a priority. When you do have children try and lose the weight before you have another. I know, it's hard, even in some cases impossible, but try. Even if you hate it. Thin and pretty gets the job before overweight will. Besides, the healthier you are the better for you and your loved ones.

Okay, so there's my bitter rant. I'm sure at this point, I'm going to hell, but I wish someone had told me this 30 years ago.

Recently there was an article in Meridian Magazine that has disturbed me. Before continuing on with this post, take a moment and read this.

Church Leaders Urge Us To Stay Married

Finished? I know it's long.

Now before I state my concerns let me say that I have no problem with the concept of staying married. I believe in marriage. I believe marriage should be eternal. I don't believe in giving up when things get tough. I think people should work at their marriages.

But I also believe that there is a time to abandon a sinking ship when no amount of bailing water is going to save it.

Let me point out some things that disturbed me about the article. Let's start with the following quote.

My children will get over it and everything will be fine.” That's a lie. They will never get over it. Even if they wear a happy face, their hearts are aching.
We saw this vividly when serving as bishop on BYU campus. A young student with divorced parents bore her testimony and cried, saying her only dream was to be walking with her mother on one side and her father on the other. She said, “I just want to be with both of them at the same time.” The divorce had happened many years before when she was a small child. The heartache lingers on and on throughout the child's life.

By the time you get to college age you should have an understanding that the whole world isn't about you and that sometimes relationships don't work. What we have here is a girl who has romanticized her parents relationship, thinking things would be so much better if they were together. I'm not saying her heartache isn't real, but bad stuff happens to all of us and blaming your sorrow on your parents isn't a responsible way of dealing with your own life. Things may have been far worse for her if her parents had stayed together.

I remember thinking when my own parents split up when I was fifteen that it was about time and I couldn't figure out why my mother had put up with my father for so long. By that time any love I had for my father was gone.

My own children have told me that they now understand why my divorce to their father had to happen.

Sometimes divorce is in the best interest of the child. It's better to live in a happy home with one healthy parent than a miserable home with two unhealthy parents.

Using this instance in this article smacks of manipulation, just another way to make someone living in hell to feel even more guilty for a difficult decision.

On a recent popular talk show we saw a woman proclaiming this very thing: she wasn't happy, so she divorced and moved on. It appeared she had little thought for her children, or her spouse who had given so much to her through the years, including fidelity. She just wanted to try new things and move on to a “more fulfilling” life for herself, seemingly blind to the pain her decision caused to so many others.
When this happens, the women who make these decisions feel a need to justify their actions and often write articles, books, and proclaim to the world that this is the way to happiness. The woman on this show boasted that she was having a marvelous spiritual experience for herself. It was all about “me”. Our hearts ached for the innocent victims of her self-gratification.

I did not see this particular show so I can't pass judgement on this particular circumstances. It's possible that she didn't tell the whole story. It's possible that she was with someone that repeatedly told her that she couldn't do things. This is all the perspective of the authors of the article that she was being selfish. There's a possibility that she had to leave her marriage to emotionally survive. We can't assume that because a woman gets divorced and then finds success that she's selfish.

A man whose wife divorced him told us, “I should have stayed and fought for my family. She told me to move out and said if I did she would work with me and we could have a peaceful divorce, ‘for the children's sake.' So I left, to keep the peace. That was many years ago. The result is that my children claim I abandoned them, even though I didn't want the divorce and did all in my power to be with them. She turned them against me. I should have stayed in our home and insisted we work out the problems together. My children are grown and are a mess as a result of this divorce. On their visits to my new home they put my second wife, an angel of a woman, through a literal hell as she tried to show her love to them. My advice is: Don't leave, find a way to make it work.”

This one gives me the heebie jeebies. I too asked my husband to leave and have a peaceful divorce for the sake of the children. He chose to stay and torment me. He told me that if I wanted out of the marriage that I be the one to leave and that I would never see my children again. So I stayed. We both stayed in that house at war with each other. I had no money and nowhere to go, and I was concerned about taking my children away from everything they knew. He finally left when the police arrested him and he wasn't allowed to come back. It would have been much better if he had left peacefully. As far as this man's claim that his wife turned the children against him, where is the wife's response to this accusation? Is it possible that he might have turned the children against him himself?

Staying and trying to force someone to be in a marriage doesn't work. By the time an LDS woman is asking for a divorce she has already prayed and agonized over the decision and come to the conclusion that something has to change and often by this time an attempt at making it work is too little too late. Why didn't he try to make it work before she asked him to move out? What did he not understand or completely miss?

I worry that an abusive man might read this statement and see it as permission to abuse his wife further when she no longer wants to live with him.

As we visited with a couple at one of our retreats they both, sitting together at dinner with us, said, “This is our second marriage. Even though we love each other we both wish we had stayed married to our first spouse. A second marriage is extremely difficult. We wish we had put this much effort into our first marriage and made it work. This is so difficult for us and our children. Please tell others contemplating divorce what we have said. Happiness isn't on the other side of the fence.”

My marriage to my husband was my first but his second. He never got over his first wife, something I knew instinctively during our marriage and something he always denied. As soon as we were separated he ran to her arms and he's now remarried to her even though it has caused tremendous grief for our children and for me. My whole marriage a 20 year one compared to his first 2 year one, was based on lies and his desire to get back at her.

To read that those on their second marriage are living with regrets and wishing they were with their first spouse makes me want to smack them. Talk about a set-up for a second failed marriage! Do what you need to to fix your first marriage while your still married, but once you're divorced, let it go. That person has no place in your life other than your history and the parent of any children you have together. If you remarry, embrace your second marriage and spouse whole-heartedly, never looking back and regretting other than learning from your mistakes. One of my favorite Rascal Flatts song is "Bless the Broken Road" a song of how every failed relationship and set back leads you eventually to the one you love.

A woman who came to us was ready to divorce her husband because of his abusive tongue, the name calling and disrespectful way he treated her, along with drinking. We worked with her in helping her realize the importance of setting personal boundaries by being kind, gentle, respectful and firm.
It took time, patience and consistency on her part, but the results were amazing. He now treats her with respect and has become fully active in the Church and they have now been sealed in the temple. She said, “He's a wonderful husband and father now. It scares me to think how close I came to divorcing him.” We've seen this same scenario over and over. When people work at it, marriages can be saved and become beautiful and lasting. They just have to be willing to pay the price.

Bravo to this woman who was able to turn it around. She's extremely strong. However I suspect this is an exception. There are those who will be abusive no matter how you treat them. Verbal abuse is devastating and steals self-esteem. It's hard, almost impossible to feel good about yourself when the person who is supposed to love you more than anyone else in the world calls you demeaning names and tells you that you are useless. By the time a woman has figured out that she can no longer put up with this type of behavior, she doesn't have the self-esteem needed to fix it.

This also tends to lay the blame on the victim. "If I had only done this, or said that, then he wouldn't be so mean to me."

We can't change how someone else behaves. We can only change how we behave. Sometimes that does have a ripple effect in a positive way. But with abusive men the effect of a woman saying "You can no longer say that to me" results in more abusive behavior.

A Latter-day Saint sister from Arizona recently told us that as a young married woman she made a conscious decision about her marriage. She said, “I told myself I could have a crummy marriage or a good one. It's up to me. I chose to work hard and have a good marriage.”

This is one of those statements that is both true and false. The truth is that you can make a decision to work hard to have a good marriage. The truth is also that it isn't entirely up to you, and no matter how hard you try, if your partner isn't committed to you and your marriage, you can't make it work. Again, you can only control your own behavior and desires, not someone else's.

Although this statement can give a person power and let them know that their attitude can fix things, it can also have an adverse effect and cause more self-blame in an impossible situation.

There are those who will say that it takes two to make a war-zone, and yes, one party can choose not to fight against the other, but the results could end up with a prisoner of war situation. One person has all the control and the other has no say. This is not peace, nor is it a marriage. And it's not a healthy way to bring up a child.

Divorce doesn't fix everything and it doesn't make all problems go away. New problems come along. Adjustments need to be made. And it isn't the worst thing that can happen. Sometimes it has to happen so that people can survive.

It's unfortunate but true. Although the world out there might think in terms of serial monogamy, LDS women believe in forever and it's devastating when forever starts to look like hell.

Although this article could be helpful to someone contemplating a divorce when their marriage is fixable, it might only cause more confusion and guilt for those in marriages that are spiritually, emotionally and physically dangerous.

In a previous post I talked about gay marriage and the possible implications if it became legal.

Protecting Marriage

When proposition 8 was passed in California, the very thing I was afraid of if gay marriage became mainstream happened.

Click on here to see a report of what happened and take a close look at the pictures.

So it was going to happen either way.

I'm trying to understand the reasoning. There was a vote. The majority voted to not allow gay marriage, and the gay population blamed the Mormons.

When did Mormons become the majority in California? I knew they were in Utah, but California? And weren't there other churches involved? And didn't the Latino population have a say in it as well?

And although I haven't seen or heard any name calling from the Yes side, there is plenty of name calling from gay people. In fact "homophobe" is a popular name to call people who don't agree with them. Now lets take a look at that word. Isn't a phobia something that strikes terror in a person? For instance I have a severe phobia of rodents. My heart beats faster, I want to scream and run and prolonged exposure will cause nightmares. I do not have the same reaction when I meet a homosexual person. So how can I be called homophobic?

When did disagreeing with someone become a phobia?

And when did persecution become politically correct? Aren't they doing the exact same thing they accuse others of and fought against?

No one has taken away their right or ability to form unions with whichever adults they want to, but they did take away the right for people to peacefully worship.

It doesn't make sense.

On the August 12 broadcast of his national radio show, Rush Limbaugh said of former Sen. John Edwards' extramarital affair:

"I've got a theory about the motivations ... We know - we've been told that Elizabeth Edwards is smarter than John Edwards... Ergo, if Elizabeth Edwards is smarter than John Edwards, is it likely that she thinks she knows better than he does what his speeches ought to contain and what kind of things he ought to be doing, strategy wise? Could it have been her decision to keep going with the campaign? In other words, could it be that she doesn't shut up? That's as far as I'm going to go."

"It just seems to me that John Edwards might be attracted to a woman whose mouth did something other than talk."

"My theory, that I just explained to you about why - you know, what could have John Edwards' motivations been to have the affair with Rielle Hunter, given his wife is smarter than he is and probably nagging him a lot about doing this, and he found somebody that did something with her mouth other than talk."

So there we have it. Men cheat on their wives because their wives have brains and can speak. It's great to finally have the truth. Now that we've solved that problem, the female half of the world can go have a lobotomy and get their tongues removed so that we can rescue our men from "accidentally" destroying their marriages.

I'd sure like to know what other men think of Limbaugh's statement.

Is this what men really think? Or is Rush Limbaugh an idiot on his own little island. It's not that I'm totally shocked that Rush Limbaugh said this, I mean if any man is going to say this, it would be Rush. Years ago I heard him say that a woman's dreams should be whatever her husband wants and her job is to support him in getting them.

I'm tired of listening to men give excuses (or women for that matter) on why they broke their marriage vows. Really, what reasons are there for infidelity?

Why would anyone cheat on someone that they have vowed to love, honor, cherish, and remain true to?

I can think of only two reasons.

1. They simply don't like their spouse. Maybe even have hatred towards them and want to hurt them.

2. (And probably the more common), Their marriage or their spouse isn't that important to them. After all, how do you "forget" that you are married. It takes some kind of effort to have an affair, even a one night stand. You have to be sure you're alone. You have to take off your clothes, or some of your clothes, clothes that you don't remove in public. You have to be already doing something with someone that you shouldn't be doing to get to that point. It's not like getting into a car accident. There's some kind of effort that's involved in cheating and to do that you have to either completely forget that you're married, or decide that your marriage or your spouse isn't important, or you want to hurt someone. You can't say, "Oops, I slipped," because what exactly would someone be doing to have "slipped" and caused that to happen?

So why have I put this under my abuse series? Adultery isn't exactly abuse.

Well, it's not hitting, or outright name calling. But there is an under-currant of hate or disinterest. Betrayal is devastating and really destroys self-esteem perhaps even more so than the outright name calling. For a woman to have her husband cheat, she has to ask herself if he loves her, and since hate and disinterest are not signs of love she may realize that she's with someone who doesn't love her. Someone who even tells her everyday that he does, but proves by his actions that he doesn't.

There's also control involved here. One person has decided that the other person should be married to a cheater. There's rarely talk first about cheating. One does it, bringing someone else into the marriage that the other person hasn't approved of and they exposed their spouse to possible disease. That's control, especially if they don't tell their spouse so that they can then make the decision if they want to be married to a cheater who might give them a deadly disease.

There is a reason why adultery is a grievous sin and why it's in one of the ten commandments, and no amount of justifying can make it less so.

I'm against legalizing gay marriage.

I'm not against gay people creating a union between two people. That's their business.

But I do believe that marriage is the sacred union between a man and a woman. It should be protected. Just because two people within a marriage may not treat their marriage as sacred, doesn't mean the institution of marriage isn't sacred.

When the gay population wants to expand on the definition of marriage, they then open up a whole lot of doors that could lead to abuse.

Mainly that of religious freedoms.

A union between a gay couple, recognized by the government and given the financial and medical protections that a married couple share is fine and fair. There are enough horror stories where a person hasn't been allowed into his partners hospital room because he's not family, or lifetime partners are not protected financially. However provisions have now been put in place to protect those rights. Wills can be made, insurance forms filled out, living wills established that can name particular people. There are even churches that will perform unions. I see no reason for the gay community to desire marriage.

But the word marriage and the institution of marriage should be a seperate thing. It's a sacred covenant entered into by a man, a woman, and God. There are limitations to that marriage covenant. You can't marry a close relative, you can't marry more than one person at a time, you can't marry an underage person, you can't marry someone who doesn't have the capacity to understand what they are doing, you can't marry someone who is still legally married to someone else.

I believe that legalizing marriage for gay couples opens up the doors for religious persecution. Don't believe me?

From last year, a proposed law in England can cause problems. Note, it doesn't say in this article that gays will do it, it just says that they'll be legally allowed to sue.

But don't say they won't try. Read Chistians Will Not Be Prosecuted. Yep, they tried to make it illegal for churches to preach against homosexuality. Just because they weren't successful this time doesn't mean they won't ever be successful.

Added to that, churches may lose their tax-exempt status for not accepting homosexuality. Some may argue that this is fair, but churches are given tax-exempt status because they are designed to help people. They provide relief in disaster, they counsel the heartsick, they feed the hungry and go to desolate countries where they dig wells and build schools. Just because they don't teach that whatever a person does is okay, doesn't mean they should lose their tax-exemption. For many churches, losing tax-exemption could mean losing the church all together.

Is it up to individuals to tell churches what to preach? Isn't that the whole reason behind the seperation of church and state, so the government doesn't get involved.

There will be gays who will deny wanting to do this. They will deny that gay groups have an agenda. Yet, there was an English couple who for years raised foster children, yet were recently taken off the list because they taught their religious beliefs in their home, which for the most part was fine, except for the belief that marriage is between a man and a woman.

There is an agenda out there. Not all gay people subscribe to it. Many just want to live their lives in peace. But there is the faction that is taking over accusing others of intolerance while they themselves are intolerant.

Do I tell my kids that gay people are evil? No, of course not. Nor do I believe that anyone should be persecuted, teased or bullied and I would hope that my kids would stand up for anyone gay or not.

But lets not close our eyes to what's really happening out there. People don't get what they want by grabbing everything at once. They get it little by little.

Esteem
1.
to regard highly or favorably; regard with respect or admiration: I esteem him for his honesty.
2.
to consider as of a certain value or of a certain type; regard: I esteem it worthless.
3.
Obsolete. to set a value on; appraise. –noun
4.
favorable opinion or judgment; respect or regard: to hold a person in esteem.
5.
Archaic. opinion or judgment; estimation; valuation.

Recently I read a book that was funny and inspiring. I highly recommend it.

However I found one chapter disturbing, it was the one on self-esteem and although the author had good points to make, I feel he missed the boat on the importance of self-esteem. He took it as something we had to earn and we earn it by doing service for others.

I have no problem with the concept of doing service and doing so will help us feel better about ourselves.

However, I firmly believe that self-esteem is something we don't earn, we begin with it and through negative experiences, the transgressions of others, and our own transgressions, we lose it.

Children are born with high self-esteem, yet that erodes away as life happens to them.

Why is it alright to esteem someone, yet not to with ourselves?

It begins with us.

Girls with high self-esteem are less likely to have teen pregnancies. Most sexually active teenage girls become so because they're afraid of losing their boyfriends, they want to fit in, and they want to please him. Her own needs are put aside to please someone else.

Girls with high self-esteem are less likely to experiment with cigarettes, alcohol and tobacco, all things that youth do to try and fit in with others because they don't believe that they are good enough themselves.

Girls with high self-esteem are less likely to become involved in an abusive relationship. She'll be more likely to recognize the signs and decide that this is not a good place for her to be and she won't care what other people think about breaking off an engagement or ending a marriage.

Girls with high self-esteem are more likely to try out new, positive experiences. They are more likely to succeed in school, more likely to participate in the community, and more likely to help someone in need, because she isn't self-obsessed about whether people will like her or not. She's also more likely to take the classes and do the hobbies that interest her and not ones because they're popular.

Girls with high self-esteem have goals. They are also more likely to take criticism well and weed through what is worthwhile to listen to, and what isn't. She recognizes that just because she doesn't do something well, or makes a mistake, doesn't mean that she isn't a worthwhile person.

Jeffrey R. Holland said: When you let people’s opinions make you self-conscious you give away your power. The key to feeling [confident] is to always listen to your inner self—[the real you.]” And in the kingdom of God, the real you is “more precious than rubies.” Every young woman is a child of destiny and every adult woman a powerful force for good.

Does that sound like something we have to earn through hard work, talent and persistence? No. It's something that God gives us. We are children of Heavenly Father and that should give us self-esteem. It's too bad that we can't see ourselves as He sees us.

So if we know this, why do we put ourselves in situations that we would not put someone we esteem. Think of someone who you do esteem? Would you want them to be involved in an abusive relationship? Would you want them to do things that go against what they know is true? Then why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we convince ourselves that our situations are different? That we can change things. That his behavior is somehow our responsibility?

We should be helping our children to keep their self-esteem, not telling them they need to earn it. Granted, the better we do the higher our self-esteem will be. We can't live forever on just being cute. Some of it is earned, but the initial esteem is a gift just as His love is. And we never have to earn His love, it is freely given.

18 For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book:

19 And if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book. Revelations 22

Many take this scripture as a declaration that there is no other scripture.

I believe that this refers only to the Book of Revelation.

The bible has already been added upon and worse, had things taken away from it. There are many books that have been removed. I believe the Catholic church has these books, but I could be wrong.

Furthermore, no one really knows if Revelations was intended to be the last book of the bible. It was just put there when the bible was compiled.

Many think that some of the books in our bible don't belong there.

At one point, the Aprocrypha held a place between the Old and the New Testament. It no longer does, but as recently as a hundred and fifty years ago, it did.

Each translation of the bible takes it further from it's original meaning. Ever compare a new version with the King James? Not only has the beauty of the language been lost, but a lot of meaning as well. It's like a group of people got together and said "this is what it means and there's no other interpretation of it," but the magic of the bible is that you can get several meanings from the same scripture, and they can all be correct. It depends where you are spiritually when you read it and what you need to learn at that moment.

The world is interested in the Dead Sea Scrolls, wondering if this could be another testament of Jesus Christ. And it very well could be.

Which leads me to wonder why people are so disbelieving of the Book of Mormon.

Do other Christians really believe that God would only give scripture to a small number of people in a small area of the world. Wouldn't it make sense that He would raise up prophets and have people write things down through out the world? Doesn't he love all of us? Certainly it would seem that if He does love all of us, then he would give guidance to the people in other parts of the word, and these things would be written down as well.

Which means, there's a lot of other scripture out there somewhere. One day we'll have it, but I guess we need to use the scripture that we've already got.

Anybody else wonder what's in the section of the Book of Mormon that was sealed?

To believe that God would just hand down scripture and then close up the skies, revealing no more, doesn't make much sense. If He loves us, then He's going to do all he can without taking away our free agency, to help us to return home, and that would mean providing further revelation, especially in a world that's changing so constantly now.